Tuesday, March 10, 2009

But I'm Not A Doctor Or Anything

Working two jobs can sometimes be tiring but it pays the bills. Coincidentally, I must deal with doctors at both jobs. One as a professional, the other as a waitress. I wait tables at a restaurant next to a hospital. I also work with doctors, as a peer, helping people in need of medical assistance from the government. What I have found is that doctors, generally, are not very nice, have no sense of humor, think they are gods, and expect to be treated as such.

The doctors that come into the restaurant, usually in scrubs, are always talking on a cell phone, and are somehow very important(cutting in line), or so they think. They race to the host stand announcing that they need a table immediately because they are a doctor (yes, they say that). I suppose as a simpleton waiter or host, one could not figure out from the scrubs what they did for a living. I know I find them so intriguingly intelligent because they know by my apron and shirt with the restaurant logo that I am their waiter. Once, I walked up to a table and the 'doctor' was on his phone. I politely said that I would return when he was done with his conversation, but, to my surprise, he stated very loudly that he was a doctor and wanted an iced tea, now. Why must it be announced at every opportunity? I could'nt care less what you do for a living. Just leave me a good tip because I am a good waitress.

When not waiting tables, I work with doctors who work for the government. The majority of them do not have private practices and honestly don't know an ass from an eyeball. But hey, somebody had to graduate at the bottom of their class. I feel I know more about medical maladies than these said healers. What was that thing called again? Oh yeah...the Hippocratic Oath. For this job, I think they spell it Hypocrite-ick Oath. I can't ever remember who they are helping more their wallets or our clients.

So, I have found a way to amuse myself and save my sanity. Whenever a doctor asks me a question, whether at the restaurant or the government job, I always answer the question, politely of course, then add but I'm not a doctor or anything (adding a little spirit fingers hand motion). Most doctors do not find this funny. I however, howl with laughter until a little pee comes out.

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