Saturday, July 25, 2009

Shamrock Out With Your Cock Out!

Every year my family and I meet in Cocoa Beach, Florida for my mother's birthday. Every year new places pop-up to visit (drink good beer). A couple of years ago, right across the street from the condo we call home for a week, a place called Nolan's opened. A nice little Irish pub actually owned by Irish folk. They have a weekly trivia night. The topics range from music to sports to Irish trivia. The best part of the festivities, for me anyway, is naming one's team.

We only visit for that 1 week yearly. So for one night, for the past 2 years, my family and I have played on this one blessed day. You may wonder why I might call it a blessed day when religion plays no part in my life. I am here to tell you. The winner of the trivia contest receives a $50.00 bar tab. Unfortunately, that has not happened for me and mine. There are other winners. Best team name and worst team name. No, you don't get free drinks, but you do get goofy prizes while the whole pub boos or praises your team name.

That's right! We have now won 2 years in a row (the week that July 17th falls) for worst team name. This year we were team Shamrock Out With Your Cock Out (Thanks D.). And, the year before we won with the team name Erins' Go Braghless.

Personally, we had the most imaginative names. The name that won the first year we played was the F.S.. They didn't use the actual words, the fuck sakes, they had to pussy out with an acronym.

I can't wait for next year...the boobs that shake the barley? If anyone has any suggestions for next year I will share the pot of gold. That is, the crap one finds on the ground on St. Patty's Day left by those lovable drunkards some liken to Irish. Everyone knows St. Patrick's Day is an American made holiday. But, if we win with a suggested name, the Guinness is on me.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

NPR Hearts PBR

Pabst Blue Ribbon is now a sponsor of National Public Radio's show All Things Considered. Actually, they have been for a while. Is it just me, or did NPR become less highbrow with this latest addition to it's sponsors? I had always thought of NPR as catering to the intellectual crowd. Those that like fine wine, classic literature, and the fine arts. Pabst Blue Ribbon conjures up dive bars, knife fights, and bikers...not the intelligentsia. When I think of All Things Considered, I think of the wine snob drinking Chateauneuf-du-Pape, not the local drunk drinking Pabst.

PBR was founded in 1844 by Jacob Best in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Milwaukee, a place you can go see the Brewers play baseball. Where inevitably, you will see many a drunk fan with no shirt, painted body parts, fighting in the bleachers. The ball park is now called Miller Park (the Miller Brewing Company took over production of PBR in 1999). Milwaukee does not bring to mind left-leaning suits on their drive home slamming some brewskies, listening to a mix of news, interviews, commentaries, reviews and offbeat features. Okay...maybe during the offbeat features.

I find it hard to believe that any of the three hosts, Robert Siegel, Michele Norris or Melissa Block are pounding Pabst after a hard days broadcast. I do however remember the movie 'Blue Velvet', where the characters Frank Booth (Dennis Hopper) and Jefferey Beaumont (Kyle MacLachlan) have a heated exchange regarding beer. The seedier Booth asks Beaumont, "What kind of beer do you like to drink, neighbor?" Beaumont replies, "Heineken." Booth shoots back with "Heineken? Fuck that shit! Pabst Blue Ribbon! " I could believe the hosts of All Things Considered sipping Heinekens. But chugging PBR? I think not.

I know it is only an advertiser (sponsor). In the same way I also know that Andi McDowell, Sarah Jessica Parker, and Beyonce really don't use Loreal Hair Color from the box for their lovely locks. They go to a professional who uses only the finest products to obtain that color and sheen. But then again, I have heard using a beer rinse on one's hair makes it stonger and fuller.

So here's to you All Things Considered, a toast with PBR in hand, to a stronger and fuller hour of NEWS!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Sky Masterson and Nathan Detroit Return in 'Bros and Bitches'

Okay, this blog is not about a sequel to the fabulous Guys and Dolls. There is no sequel to this musical (none that I am aware of anyway). But, I did hear Guy Ritchie is working on a remake starring Justin Timberlake, which I will TOTALLY go see on opening day. JT is H-O-T! He brought sexy back. Or, at least lyrically, is bringing sexy back.

A question I do have is whether or not JT will be paid with a marker aka an IOU? That is, if the state of California is footing the bill. That's right, the state controller of California has been forced to pay taxpayers, local governments and small businesses with IOU's, or markers as they are known by the gamblers of the 1955 film. Maybe the Governator's favorite musical is Guys and Dolls. Maybe he thinks of himself as Sky Masterson whose markers were always good. Nathan Detroit's not so much. Poor Miss Adelaide.

The state of California has decided these taxpayers, local governments and small businesses must not need cash in these tightened economic times. They only need a marker. If the suave Sky Masterson can get the dowdy Sergeant Sarah Brown to go with him to Cuba, then why can't California get it's contractors, citizens, and the like to swallow the same lines? "Something you want for something I want."..."Have dinner with me tomorrow night."..."Keep this. It's my marker."..."My IOU for one dozen genuine sinners delivered as described." Oh...that's right. Americans (Californians included, sans the Cuban and Cuban-Americans thanks to Obama) still can't get to Cuba without first going through another non-American port.

The majority affected by these shenanigans are those that have contracts with the state for certain services. For example, the company that provides french fries to the California prison system. They received an IOU. They can take it to one of three major banks who will honor the marker, only through this Friday. Then, perhaps they may be able to pay their employees if one of these banks is the same bank from which they write their payroll checks. Otherwise, they will be at the mercy of credit unions, check-cashing storefronts, and Craigslist entrepreneurial enthusiasts offering .85 cents on the dollar for these markers.

It must be known too that Ah-nold wanted to borrow millions from local governments and release some prisoners early to save money. I applaud the Governator for trying to cut the budget. But at the same time, perhaps he should barter with McDonald's for french fries. That would be a win-win situation. What inmate wouldn't want Mickey D's fries? Everyone is "Lovin' it" on the outside.

I have an idea Mr. Schwarzenegger. If you love your state so much, why don't you marry it? Sorry, that was so 3rd grade. But seriously, why not take some of those millions earned from your films, and pay down California's debt? It would be like giving back to your community.

Sincerely, and committed to my community,