Monday, May 11, 2009

Would The Real Condiment Please Stand Up?

As everyone has probably heard, President Obama likes spicy mustard on his burger. Stop the presses. Ketchup is pissed. Sean Hannity of Fox News fame, by the bye, is also pissed, along with Mark Steyn, and Laura Ingram. What kind of a person, they demand to know, wants mustard on their burger? Spicy mustard at that. I for one like mustard on my burger. As a matter of fact, I like a cheeseburger with mustard and pickles only. It is delicious. Yet, these pundits are raking President Obama over the coals for ordering a burger the way he likes it. Hannity said on his Fox News show about Obama's choice of condiment, "plain old ketchup didn't cut it for him." Have they forgotten who John Kerry is married to?

However, since President Obama requested spicy or Dijon mustard, which are synonymous in the culinary world, Hannity ran with the first thing that entered his mind, the old Grey Poupon commercial. Guys in Rolls Royce's being elitist about their mustard. He left out the part where Grey Poupon is made by Kraft Foods, an American company.

I suppose Hannity also forgot about that time Bridget Marquart of Girls Next Door fame went to New York City, and refused every hot dog at every hot dog stand because they only had spicy mustard, not the plain yellow kind, even after the hot dog was made, and given to her. He didn't complain about that. Oh, right...she is just like the girl next door, your regular, everyday, average Joelene who likes 'regular' mustard, not the spicy kind. And, she did take her clothes off for the good of the country. But then again, he did drop out of NYU. I guess he could have once been intelligent until he had to write a research paper instead of talking out of his ass.

If Fox News, et al, really wanted to hit home the point of how much they despise Obama and his evilness, why didn't they mention the name of the restaurant he ate said burger? Ray's Hell-Burger. They could have thrown in some bible verse related to mustard to make their point. I am sure there is one.

Ironically, it was the Romans who invented this condiment. Hannity, being of Irish descent, should be ashamed for admonishing spicy mustard. It was given to this world by the same folks who gave his people their religion.

So, because he hates it so much, I will relish in it every time I request it. I might just start a company who makes a spicy mustard perfume. Catering to the elite, of course.



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