Friday, May 15, 2009

I Heart Boners

Today Pfizer announced that they will be giving their drugs away for free to those who have lost their health insurance since January, and had already been taking the drugs for at least three months. Among the drugs that will be offered is Viagra. As we all know, losing your job sucks. And, if you are a man with ED, what better way to get over the loss than to receive free Viagra. You can't afford the Viagra due to the loss of income but let's face facts people, society can't afford guys walking around not feeling manly. Especially here in Texas, where concealed weapons are legal. And...I am not talking about the one's Pfizer helps to create. Coincidentally, this comes on the heels of a change in Texas Law.

Last Tuesday, the Texas Senate voted to repeal a $5-per-person admission fee on strip clubs that has been ruled unconstitutional and agreed to replace it with a new tax on sexually oriented businesses. The bill now goes to Gov. Rick Perry for his consideration. Is it a coincidence?

Maybe Pfizer and the Texas governor should ask Sydney Fife, Jason Segel's character from I Love You, Man, to do a PSA for the dual announcements. It could go something like this: Fife goes to the pharmacy for his free Viagra then visits the local strip club. With the owner's new found joy that they no longer have to pay the state $5.00 for the admission of Mr. Fife. he is offered a complimentary lap dance. He goes home and recreates the man cave scene. Fife's character enters the frame, the camera panning the the room. While looking seriously at the camera, Fife says the line from the movie, "This is the man cave, there's no women allowed in here. I got a jerk-off station for God's sake." He sits in the jerk-off chair while a voice over let's the audience know how to obtain the free Viagra, and gives out Govenor Rick Perry's phone number to let him know your feelings about repealing this 2 year old law that was declared unconstitutional.

Let's hope that this does not start a backlash of those who think boners and strip clubs don't go together. It would sort of be like a divorce between peanut butter and chocolate...goodbye Resse's peanut butter cups.

A special thanks to Austin. Thanks for showing me your i-Pod inscription all those years ago! I have now stolen your genius for my title.

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