Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Menopausal Mother Nature

In Texas, there is a saying, wait a minute and the weather will change. It must have been Mother Nature, pissed off about menopause, who came up with this saying, and decided to take it out solely on the state in which I reside. She needs to start hormone replacement therapy because I can't take it anymore. I don't know what to wear, or which clothes to put away for next season.

Make up your mind woman! Are you having a hot flash? Are you just fatigued, and don't feel like warming us when we expect it to be warm? Two days ago it was 29 degrees for the low, and 77 degrees for the high. Tomorrow the projected low is 63 degrees, with a projected high of 92 degrees. Late tomorrow, there will allegedly be thunderstorms. Don't get me started on the winds. Hormone replacement therapy may quell these mood swings you are having.

A couple of weeks ago it hailed. Not little hail, but golf ball sized hail. I like nature's phenomena as much as the next guy, but this has got to stop. Do I put the car in the garage and risk carbon monoxide poisoning while waiting for it to warm up, or do I leave the car outside so when I report the hail damage, the insurance company will call telling me the car has been totaled? I am at a loss as to how to prepare for her next bout of crazy.

I would rather see a wrestling match between El Nino and La Nina, masks and all. At least I know where I stand with these two pubescents. Maybe they should just team up and kick Mother Nature's ass!

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